Good morning, regardless. Good evening, regardless. God Bless your life, regardless. Sonya is at her most angelic right now, which is asleep on a couch. I’m trying to listen to uplifting music right and remember all my victories this week so far instead of how average everything feels right now. The last couple of days have had their ups and downs, but my view is one I believe to be same as most, one sided. Why am I stuck on the down side? I wonder how many people ask themselves the question I am asking myself right now.
It’s been a great month or two personally. God has simply been good to me, I feel like I’m growing and progressing as a person, overcoming a few long standing challenges, and coming into my own. I have accomplished some simple things that mean the world to me, and the weeks have moved so fast to me they are blurring together. Thing is, there have been moments the last few days that have slowed down this feeling to what seems like a grinding halt. But that’s life right? Us trying to hold on through the speed of the sweet moments while trying to push through the eternity of the sour ones. Fun never seems to slow down and stress and bother just wont hurry up.
The thing is that the good and the bad probably move at the same speed in our lives, it’s just our focus on the time that changes. Time flies when you’re having fun, but barely crawls when you’re going through it. And here’s the kicker to me. I had such a good week that it only took one funny moment to put me in a funk I am doing my best to make it through. Great, so no matter how much I’ve grown, I’m still a baby. No matter how awesome my life is going to get, the wack moments are going to make me feel like I never had a good moment, leave alone month.
This isn’t the first time I’ve tried to be a practicing Christian, and the comparisons astound me. I could never do this before because all these other Christians always acted so perfect and happy. I’m back and they never left, so either I’m a glutton for punishment and failure, or something changed. In this case that is obviously my perception. I guess this has just gotten too real for me to care about the fakeness anymore. If I am the only Christian on the planet still having bad days, I’ll be just fine with that.
So yeah, today and its last two predecessors haven’t been the greatest, and some of the people I’ve interacted with lately have made me watch my mouth more than usual. I have faith that moments like these will pass even when I know in the back of my mind that they will be back again. It’s the cycle of life, the chicken and the egg. So I guess they’ll just have to be my need a hug, pass out on your couch friend that no one can stand anymore. Sure, you can always come visit, as long as you always leave.
Plus, as long as the bad days/moments keep coming back, so will the good ones. And I should be due for one any minute now, thank GOD!
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